Life Sentenced

After so long living in a prison, how would you even begin to live again on the outside? It's funny, how convicts are asked whether or not they've been rehabilitated, and ready to return as a normal citizen after 20 years or so. But even if they've become a changed man, how can they really expect to function normally after missing everything?

I saw the Shawshank Redemption the other day, and I don't think anyone sums this up better than Red,

"A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it."

The world changes from the inside to the outside. On the inside, everyone has their place, their purpose in the prison. On the outside, a man is just an ex-criminal who has barely a chance in the world to make something of himself. They may be a changed and regretful man, but society will only ever see them as the con they used to be. They have to adapt to the world with possibly no one, and live with all the memories and terror of prison life.

I don't necessarily see a better way to punish people who commit crimes, but in some cases, the way they are just released is only a continuation of their life sentence. Their life has already been taken away from them. Even with their freedom, some are lost with it.

Sick!

Serial killers make me want to study psychology. I find whatever reasoning that goes through their heads absolutely fascinating. What would drive someone to find pleasure in such a sick killing spree must be so strange. What makes me so attracted, is probably because I could never imagine myself killing anyone, or ever intentionally torturing or hurting anyone.

We talked about Jeffery Dahmer today in art. Mr. B apparently was friends with his neighbor. We discussed how Dahmer was glad to finally be locked, that he was happy that he was there so he couldn't do what he was doing anymore. It is so interesting to think that he knew exactly what he was doing, but couldn't help himself. Couldn't stop himself. He expressed remorse during his trial after being found guilty and sane. Dahmer remarked on the fact that he didn't want anyone else to be like him. He was killed in prison by an inmate, and his brain was saved for scientific study. I wonder if they ever found anything different in his head that made him function so bizarre.

Humans are so interesting. The way we think and react to things are so different than anything else on earth. It just makes me wonder sometimes...what are they thinking?

Sigh

I have absolutely no reason for hating it. You aren't doing anything wrong.

I have no reason left to hate. That's a lie. I hate what she's done to you. But you've forgiven her, and that's what counts. I like her, she's nice. But that green monster can't help creepin!

You have a history. It's been gone for a long time. I trust you completely, but something still hates that you're doing it. Couldn't tell you why...

I suppose there's that small amount of paranoia, that things will slip back to the way they were, but I doubt it at the same time.

Human emotions make no sense, and this is a perfect example.

The end.

Cheaters cheaters pumpkin eaters.

GAH!

I hate cheaters. I understand the homework problem that you don't understand, and you copy it down to see the process of how it's done, or an explanation. But just flat out cheating on a quiz or a test is just a bad idea. It doesn't allow you to learn the material should an actual test come along, and it shows an amount of selfishness and pride for being unable to accept the fact that you just don't know it. You can't accept the bad grade you deserve for not studying. It's a subtle form of jealously, noticing that someone can get the answer and you can't due to your own fault.

DISCLAIMER> I'm a hypocrite. Though, I think everyone has cheated on something in their life. When something closes off, it's only nature for us to look for another path to get to the goal. In school, that's often cheating. Which is unfortunate. Since most schools have a no-tolerance policy for cheating.

It's just disappointing to me. To see people who hate cheaters, cheat themselves out of desperation.

Concentration. Take two.

I have trouble concentrating when a lot of commotion is going on around me. Particularly with music. If two different songs are playing at once, I can't handle it. The clashing keys, notes, and melodies make my head only ache.

My mom can study and do all her work with the tv on. I just...don't understand how she does it. I can only concentrate in silence, or with certain types of music. Either, depending on my mood, or just things I don't know very well, so I can't sing along or become distracted by it.

I can work, however, with people. Other people being there forces me to concentrate, because I would feel bad for distracting them should I distract. Therefore, I actually get things done, provided there aren't any other obnoxious distractions around us...(siblings, sirens, etc.)

Different people can handle different things. It's probably to our advantage to figure out what works and what doesn't as soon as possible. For obvious reasons. Glad I figured it out.

Just another dabble. Sitting in choir, with both pianos going, plus someone singing something completely different.

Help!

concentration

I cant concentra

New Shoes part. 2

On consideration. What I described, is the looking-glass effect. It's only an example of people trying on other things to see what gets the positive feedback from their peers. The more compliments, the more positive. In retrospect, I suppose we've all done it. I can definitely say I have. I would have never thought to get this haircut if not for a friend of mine who had it first a while ago. We've all made jokes to others that were first told to us. 

We discussed it today. How no one is truly original, because we all take bits and pieces of the people we're around the most. We all conform to each other. That's why cliques are the way they are. Because the people who hang out are similar within that clique, they all act and dress similarly... It's ironic to think that so many of these cliques think to defy the common concept of image. To not conform, though they're all conformists to each other and to the other people who are also attempting to resist conforming to whatever it is that everybody seems to be doing...

I think that everyone is unique, though. Although we're all using the same traits of everyone, we're all different amounts of those traits that make us different. 

I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling, it's so inviting.

I cut my hair about a week ago. 

It's like a new pair of shoes. Nothing's changed, but everything feels different. Cooler. However, in reality, we all know that inherently nothing has changed. We're still the same person inside. The same knowledge, traits, family remains. It's only the appearance that changes. Is it weird to think that despite some efforts, a lot of us are materialistic? Or as a society we are?

Well... I know that's true. 

It's strange to think that something as simple as a haircut or a new piece of clothing can boost one's self-esteem. Although, realizing that that is the most given comment any gives daily, not totally surprising. Not as often do you hear people commenting others on their morals or personality. I guess I could say I'm disappointed to be giving into the materialistic ways of our society, I don't mind. I like my haircut.

People.

I've been thinking about doing this since it was posted. Thought I would do it now. So. here it goes. He was right, what good is it if it's not applied.  Some of these were periodical, and may not be true anymore, some still hold, some are new. 

The people to trust are the ones who hate you, they'll do exactly as you expect

Hunter Flagg, Taylor Atwood, Rachel Lamb, that anonymous commenter who needs to grow a pair and say it to my face. 

The people to fear are the ones who have no doubts, they can't see themselves
My father, Mrs. Lauson-Iriarte, Zach Wells. other various teachers. radicals. Kayla Sasala. 

The people to need are the ones who owe you nothing, they'll be the most honest
My immediate family. My cats. Darcy Fyffe.  

The people to want are the ones you love, for obvious reasons
My father, mother, sister, Darcy Fyffe, Katelyn Yonkers, Ian Cassidy, Jake Hays, John Michael Sudsina. 

The people to be wary of are the ones who are fragile, you might break them
My mother, myself, my sister, Jake Hays, Taylor Atwood, Hunter Flagg. 

The people who need you are the people you owe nothing, they don't expect you, and that makes all the difference
I...couldn't tell you who. There are people I would like to think, but none for certain. Actually. My cat, Sam. If that counts. 

The people who make changes are the one's who don't shout, for they are the one's best heard
Brian Katona, Reshma Patel, Annick Dall, 

The people who make you are the people who you make, they see themselves in you, and you see you in them
My Mother, my Father, my sister, Grammy, Nannan, Ian Cassidy, 

The people who eat the most have the most to fear, they're contentment won't save them when we're all running from a bear
I disagree actually. I know plenty of people who eat a TON and are as thin as a board. But if you are a ton, good luck.

The people who say the least are the one's to listen for, they are the people who hear the most
Brian Katona, Miguel Benedict, Grandma Eunie, Reshma Patel, Ian Kropp. 

The happiest people know what they have, not what they want
Reshma Patel, Mr. and Mrs. Durbin, Ian Kropp, Brian Katona, Nannan and Papa.

The people who know you are the people you treat the worst, they can see your faults
Ian Cassidy, Taylor Atwood, my sister, Hunter Flagg. 

The people who love you are the people who know you, but forgive you

Ian Cassidy, my mother, father, and sister. Darcy Fyffe, Jake Hays.

This list...is subject to changes. Infact. I'm planning on re-doing it in a year. See where these stand then. Show what's changed, what hasn't. It's important to constantly apply. Life isn't always static.